The First of the Firsts

Well, it finally happened. Oakley started kindergarten, (btw, what does "kindergarten" mean? I always think it's "kindergarden" and that makes sense, but the gar"t"en has be baffled,) and we totally blew it. The introductory day setting the precedence for the next 13 years... blown. 

It started out as anticipated. Oakley was a little nervous all summer. He would randomly ask me questions like, "What if I forget my lunch?" "What if there's a bully?" I was always able to come up with a vague answer basically alluding to the fact that we'd deal with it if it came up. That's how I roll. I had nervous sweats all day the Tuesday before he started, didn't sleep a wink the night before and was up and ready to go early, early and waited around with a belly ache for a half hour before it "was time." 

 (I didn't notice until I uploaded the pictures last week that he was and has been wearing his old shoes everyday so his toes are all curled up under themselves, geisha style. I don't know if it's worth the fight.)

 So we went. We dropped him off, and stood around with all the other parents staring as their kids ran around the playground, waiting for the bell, holding in our vomit from our nervousness. Maybe that was just me.

The bell rang, he went in.

I guess the rest of the day went fine. He really didn't talk about it. It was overshadowed by what happened, or didn't happen at the end of the day. 

The end of the day, the bell rang. The teacher, Ms. Ide, walked the kids all out to their spot to wait to be picked up. Eventually, all the kids had been picked up. All except Oakley. They waited and waited. Finally they went into the office and waited. I had left a note in Oakley's folder saying that either Jason or Grandma would be picking him up, cause they make you say who it will be, and those were my best guesses. (I was working and was NOT to be bothered... just kidding, I was working, but that's not how I am... duh.) Jason was in an interview and hadn't taken his phone in with him, and had no concept of time. It must have been in Azkaban. The office tried calling him and had no luck so then they called Granny Berty and of course, she hustled down right away to pick up the poor kid. In the mean time, the injury occurred. Oakley was left to fend for himself, waiting in the office with the other "forgotten children." It was here that several second graders started chatting him up. They asked him his name and when he replied, they said, "Oak-lady? Oak-lady?" Traumatized for life. Absolutely. Or a few days. He hasn't mentioned it, so don't bring it up, k? Jason and I were / are probably still the most sad about it. Ah well, that's life. 

So, yes, much wordier than usual or appreciated from me, but this is documentation here. As of the first Sunday after school started, Oakley does like school and is excited to go back every day. There have been a few funny Oakley takes that have made me laugh.

First:
Me: Who sits at your table?
Oakley: There's this boy named Crystal, he has long hair to here.
Me: A boy?
Oakley: Yes.
Me: Named Crystal?
Oakley: Yes, and he has hair to here.

Second:
Oakley: There were second graders at my lunch table.
Me: (Panicking due to the "Oak-lady" incident) Yeah? Were they nice?
Oakley: Yes.
Me: What were their names?
Oakley: I don't know one boy's, but the other one was Domas. Or Thomas. Or Domas. I think it was Domas.

The end. 
Sorry, these conversations may become regulars on here.

Exactly.

I have been beyond excited, looking forward to our vacation to the beach on Saturday. Seriously? High of 73? Yes, please!

However, yesterday Reese came down with hand-foot-mouth disease. Pictured here,

isn't that lovely? Not to be confused with hoof-and-mouth disease, pictured here.

It's super contagious with symptoms of high fevers, miserably sore mouths / throats, rashes, fun stuff. I'm guessing the other two boys will have it soon. I figure the beach is as good as any to recoop from this.

This coincidence made me think of a phrase that comes to my head often. In my hope chest, buried below my precious (creepy) porcelain dolls

is one of my most favorite possessions:

a shirt my brother Jake gave to me for Christmas in 6th grade. He got it from Old America and it was my favorite; I thought it was hilarious.

So, in cases like this, I can't help but think:

Exactly, cartoon shirt, exactly.

(insert dry-heaving sound here)

 This, my friends, is why I hate eggs.
 
 I rest my case.

2 Things

Tonight, after a semi-successful trip to Home Depot (success based on the fact that we didn't break a fluorescent light bulb that is apparently considered hazardous material... semi based on the fact that my boys are so busy and I had to continually chant "sit down, sit down, sit down" and Reese pooped) I was buckling Nate in his car seat. Per usual, he was being sassy and arching his back and trying to make it difficult. I growled, again, "SIT DOWN." To which he replied, "You're fired." What?! I wanted to scream, "You can't fire me, I QUIT!" But I didn't.

A nicer boy at the moment is Oakley. He's funny. The other night I was telling him that he had his t-ball party and they were having pizza there, or he could eat dinner at home. He said he wanted Burger King. (He's never had it but totally enchanted with the idea of a crown.) I asked him if he was buying it with his money (which he has none of.) He said, "No, you'll buy it." I told him, "No, you can eat at home or at the party." Oakley asked, "You're saving your money?" I said, "Yes." He replied, "on car insurance?" He might watch a little too much tv.

Okay, a third thing.

Our tree got chopped down today! On purpose! It was huge and the roots were coming up in the yard and taking all the water from the grass so now maybe we can have grass and not a half grass half mud yard. I am looking forward to not changing muddy kids all the time but am a little sad about having a tree-less back yard. I just want the ones on the other side of the fence to grow super tall now to shade my yard. So don't be surprised if you see me out miracle growing the trees on Lindsay to death.

Lame

I found my sunglasses.

They were in the gutter.

My Coping Skillz

My parents moved.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We are all having a hard time dealing with it. Obviously.

So, I've realized that I busy-fy myself as a coping mechanism for (not) dealing with them being so far away.

I have spent hours on invisible work:

(That lasts about 8 minutes.)

And then hours of more manual labor:

(Still wish I had man muscles under this lady-like physique of mine.)

Followed by more hours of (my) mom-ish work:

(No big deal, just juiced 12 gallons of juice, one for every month until next year?)

In other news:

Reese got new glasses,

Oakley played his first year of t-ball,

and Nate talks and talks till he tires himself out.

(Mom, I'll try to post more often for you. Hi, Dad!)