Drumroll Please.....

The Totals:

Me:(Hi, Miss! This is the only picture I have of me in the hospital. Go Mt. View.)

Hospital Stay: 10 days
Surgery: C-Section
Anesthesia: Epidural, kinda.
Ultrasounds: 13 x 2 (billed twice each time for twins.)
Height of EOB's: 1/4 inch

Cost: $88,587.35

Nate:
(Is a sick baby lizard.)

Hospital Stay: 89 days
Height of EOB's: 5/8 inch

Cost: $1,018,757.63

Reese:(Is a slightly bigger sick little lizard.)

Hospital Stay: 177 days
Surgeries: 7
Anesthesia: 10 times
Ambulence rides: 2
Height of EOB's: 2 & 1/8 inches

Cost: $2,064,091.29

Having them both home: Priceless.

So, the grand total: $3,171,436.27

The winner is: MARIE!! She's very good with money, see? Congrats!
(& no, I'm fair, she didn't just win because she's giving me diapers.)
Tell me if you want to go to Olive Garden or the movies and I'll present you your winnings at the 4th of July breakfast.


*update*

Also a winner: My friends Carol and Jared. (And no, not just because they have twin boys too and give us way too much stuff, although we do appreciate it.)

Okay, they might have not been the closest, but Jared created a spreadsheet! (He's an engineer.) Since I'm not as smart as him, I couldn't figure out how to insert the entire spreadsheet, just the figures, so here is his impressive work, minus the fancy computer skills:

cost per Reese Nate Sara TOTAL
hospital days $850.00 177 89 10 $234,600.00
surgeries $3,500.00 7 0 1 $28,000.00
anesthesia $2,000.00 10 0 1 $22,000.00
ambulence $600.00 2 0 0 $1,200.00
ultrasounds $200.00 0 0 26 $5,200.00
GRAND TOTAL $291,000.00

So, longer part of this is that about 2/3 of the total was "room and board." Are you kidding me? Okay, if I'm going to spend $2,114,290 on room and board, you can bet it won't be in a hospital. Especially at PCH where they share rooms. I should have told them I'll pay for half, since we only used half.

Following, I'll lay out how I'd disperse the funds if I had my choice in the matter.

Firstly, scrap the hospital. I'm going to stay somewhere I enjoy if that kind of money is being spent. So-- lets say a beach house, but I got a better deal than the hospital was giving. Like half.So, with the amount remaining, I'd talk Dr. Hamburg into coming over, which wouldn't be hard, knowing her love of the sun (yep, go a head and put on a drop of your SPF 50, you'll need it.) Yes, you know how I feel about her...
Then, Dr. Notrica might be harder to convince, since there wouldn't be any hunting involved, but maybe he could fish on the ocean and that would do the trick.
Lastly, we'd get our favorite nurses, Megan, Amy and Stephani to come along, all of which deserve a vacation for how hard they work, and *presto* we'd be better and now to where we are now. (With a nice tan.)

Oh, wait. Maybe that wouldn't work. So, I guess, Banner Desert and PCH can have my insurance company's money. Enjoy, completely competent medical facilities.