The First of the Firsts

Well, it finally happened. Oakley started kindergarten, (btw, what does "kindergarten" mean? I always think it's "kindergarden" and that makes sense, but the gar"t"en has be baffled,) and we totally blew it. The introductory day setting the precedence for the next 13 years... blown. 

It started out as anticipated. Oakley was a little nervous all summer. He would randomly ask me questions like, "What if I forget my lunch?" "What if there's a bully?" I was always able to come up with a vague answer basically alluding to the fact that we'd deal with it if it came up. That's how I roll. I had nervous sweats all day the Tuesday before he started, didn't sleep a wink the night before and was up and ready to go early, early and waited around with a belly ache for a half hour before it "was time." 

 (I didn't notice until I uploaded the pictures last week that he was and has been wearing his old shoes everyday so his toes are all curled up under themselves, geisha style. I don't know if it's worth the fight.)

 So we went. We dropped him off, and stood around with all the other parents staring as their kids ran around the playground, waiting for the bell, holding in our vomit from our nervousness. Maybe that was just me.

The bell rang, he went in.

I guess the rest of the day went fine. He really didn't talk about it. It was overshadowed by what happened, or didn't happen at the end of the day. 

The end of the day, the bell rang. The teacher, Ms. Ide, walked the kids all out to their spot to wait to be picked up. Eventually, all the kids had been picked up. All except Oakley. They waited and waited. Finally they went into the office and waited. I had left a note in Oakley's folder saying that either Jason or Grandma would be picking him up, cause they make you say who it will be, and those were my best guesses. (I was working and was NOT to be bothered... just kidding, I was working, but that's not how I am... duh.) Jason was in an interview and hadn't taken his phone in with him, and had no concept of time. It must have been in Azkaban. The office tried calling him and had no luck so then they called Granny Berty and of course, she hustled down right away to pick up the poor kid. In the mean time, the injury occurred. Oakley was left to fend for himself, waiting in the office with the other "forgotten children." It was here that several second graders started chatting him up. They asked him his name and when he replied, they said, "Oak-lady? Oak-lady?" Traumatized for life. Absolutely. Or a few days. He hasn't mentioned it, so don't bring it up, k? Jason and I were / are probably still the most sad about it. Ah well, that's life. 

So, yes, much wordier than usual or appreciated from me, but this is documentation here. As of the first Sunday after school started, Oakley does like school and is excited to go back every day. There have been a few funny Oakley takes that have made me laugh.

First:
Me: Who sits at your table?
Oakley: There's this boy named Crystal, he has long hair to here.
Me: A boy?
Oakley: Yes.
Me: Named Crystal?
Oakley: Yes, and he has hair to here.

Second:
Oakley: There were second graders at my lunch table.
Me: (Panicking due to the "Oak-lady" incident) Yeah? Were they nice?
Oakley: Yes.
Me: What were their names?
Oakley: I don't know one boy's, but the other one was Domas. Or Thomas. Or Domas. I think it was Domas.

The end. 
Sorry, these conversations may become regulars on here.

Exactly.

I have been beyond excited, looking forward to our vacation to the beach on Saturday. Seriously? High of 73? Yes, please!

However, yesterday Reese came down with hand-foot-mouth disease. Pictured here,

isn't that lovely? Not to be confused with hoof-and-mouth disease, pictured here.

It's super contagious with symptoms of high fevers, miserably sore mouths / throats, rashes, fun stuff. I'm guessing the other two boys will have it soon. I figure the beach is as good as any to recoop from this.

This coincidence made me think of a phrase that comes to my head often. In my hope chest, buried below my precious (creepy) porcelain dolls

is one of my most favorite possessions:

a shirt my brother Jake gave to me for Christmas in 6th grade. He got it from Old America and it was my favorite; I thought it was hilarious.

So, in cases like this, I can't help but think:

Exactly, cartoon shirt, exactly.

(insert dry-heaving sound here)

 This, my friends, is why I hate eggs.
 
 I rest my case.

2 Things

Tonight, after a semi-successful trip to Home Depot (success based on the fact that we didn't break a fluorescent light bulb that is apparently considered hazardous material... semi based on the fact that my boys are so busy and I had to continually chant "sit down, sit down, sit down" and Reese pooped) I was buckling Nate in his car seat. Per usual, he was being sassy and arching his back and trying to make it difficult. I growled, again, "SIT DOWN." To which he replied, "You're fired." What?! I wanted to scream, "You can't fire me, I QUIT!" But I didn't.

A nicer boy at the moment is Oakley. He's funny. The other night I was telling him that he had his t-ball party and they were having pizza there, or he could eat dinner at home. He said he wanted Burger King. (He's never had it but totally enchanted with the idea of a crown.) I asked him if he was buying it with his money (which he has none of.) He said, "No, you'll buy it." I told him, "No, you can eat at home or at the party." Oakley asked, "You're saving your money?" I said, "Yes." He replied, "on car insurance?" He might watch a little too much tv.

Okay, a third thing.

Our tree got chopped down today! On purpose! It was huge and the roots were coming up in the yard and taking all the water from the grass so now maybe we can have grass and not a half grass half mud yard. I am looking forward to not changing muddy kids all the time but am a little sad about having a tree-less back yard. I just want the ones on the other side of the fence to grow super tall now to shade my yard. So don't be surprised if you see me out miracle growing the trees on Lindsay to death.

Lame

I found my sunglasses.

They were in the gutter.

My Coping Skillz

My parents moved.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We are all having a hard time dealing with it. Obviously.

So, I've realized that I busy-fy myself as a coping mechanism for (not) dealing with them being so far away.

I have spent hours on invisible work:

(That lasts about 8 minutes.)

And then hours of more manual labor:

(Still wish I had man muscles under this lady-like physique of mine.)

Followed by more hours of (my) mom-ish work:

(No big deal, just juiced 12 gallons of juice, one for every month until next year?)

In other news:

Reese got new glasses,

Oakley played his first year of t-ball,

and Nate talks and talks till he tires himself out.

(Mom, I'll try to post more often for you. Hi, Dad!)

Kids: 2 Mom: 0

My parents gave this to me a while back, with a smirk:
I guess since these were a day apart I have nothing to complain about.
Showering and vacuuming are over-rated anyway, right?!

"And that's why you don't use a one-armed person to scare people."

My children are horrible eaters. Seriously, like going-to-drive-me-to-drinking bad eaters. It honestly doesn't need to be as difficult as they make it. I obviously don't have a hard time getting it done, I don't understand why they do.

When dinner was having a hard time getting in their mouths and down their throats, I decided to try a bribe. Bike rides; but only after their food was all gone. I finished my dinner (which was neither disgusting nor delicious... eggs, bacon and biscuits,) and told them I was going by myself.

By the time I had the garage open, Oakley came out the door, still chewing an entire plate of food. We headed on our normal route, commenting on how nice the cool breeze was, and when we reached about the 1/3 way point it started sprinkling. By half way it was pouring with gusty winds and we were so cold! We rode against the wind as quick as we could back home. We pulled the bikes back into the garage, and turned to look at the rain... which had miraculously stopped.
And that's why you don't try to teach lessons to your children.

Collections

When I was little, my sister Alyson, had the most impressive sticker book. Photo albums (yes, several of them) were filled with every sticker she could accumulate. I used to love to pull back the plastic sheet of the sticky page - sshhhhhkkkkkk - and feel the fuzzy ones or smell the scratch and sniff ones.

I don't think I ever collected anything, my attention span and lack of patience didn't help me hone the collecting skill. For this reason, I'm thinking Oakley must be her boy. He has collections of she-shelves (sea shells,) dinosaur bones (dried paint clumps,) and most recently, locust skins.


Anyone know where I can pick up a sticker book?

The Nightly Routine

The most amazing thing about having kids live in the NICU for the first 3-6 months of their lives? (Well, besides having them survive?)

They can sleep through anything. Seriously, anything.


Okay, so I haven't tried everything in the world, but most nights, Reese screams for eh, probably 12 - 15 minutes. He and Nate have to face each other when they sleep, and often are touching each other through jail. Sometimes I'll go in to "shh" him (no, not console) because I don't want him to wake up Nate, and I find Nate snoring. Sometimes it's difficult to not have a favorite.

Happy Birthday Oakley!

I made a video for Oak's birthday... my goal for the next year will be to comb his hair daily.





You may have noticed his love for red shirts, tank-tops and one piece jammies. Other things I love about him are his random quotes. Recent conversations include:

Oakley: I'm hungry.
Me: What do you want?
Oakley: Spaghetti ... but no chicken or meat or buffalo.

Oakley: Why are you doing laundry?
Jason: Because it needs to be done.
Oakley: Girls do laundry. You're a girl; you wear makeup.

I love this boy! Is it bad to have a favorite? (Just kidding other children, I love you all the same...)

Happy Easter!

How to make a 4-year-old think you are amazing:
My best (and only) egg I dyed this year.

Grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days!

When I was 14, I was a horrible person. Maybe not horrible, just incredibly self centered. For that reason, I would love to get rid of my journals because of entries that are all like this:

At that time, apparently I didn't grasp how extremely blessed I was for having such a fantastic grandpa, whom everyone loved and respected. So... this time, he's not the P.P.S. My Grandpa Jones was one of the most amazing people I've known. All of my family is amazing, both sides, and my grandpa was determined to see that both sides blended to create what became my parents.

Grandpa Jones started a laundry mat and dry cleaners and hired my mom to work for him. One day, he called my mom in to work and needed her to hurry down. (In her version of the story, she had greasy hair.) Grandpa and Grandma Jones needed to go to the airport to pick up their son just returning home from his mission. On the way home, Grandpa decided that he needed to stop in at the cleaners to check on things and persuaded his son to come in with him. It was there, at Jones' Cleaners that my parent's eyes met for the first time, discussed roast beef sandwiches, and fell in love. His plan worked.


Other things that my grandpa did that have had a lasting impact on me were his acts of kindness.

-He would let me stand behind him for hours while he was sitting in his chair and braid his comb-over into as many tiny dread-locks as possible.

-He taught me how to shoot a gun. Grandpa and Grandma Jones would take us to do fun random things, like shooting, ice skating, to see the 2-headed snake at ASU, to DI, to Virden to clean the gravesites, to build a fence at a home teaching family's house, lots of service.

-He let me sit on his lap in church and poke the pencil-lead stain in his hand as quickly as I could while he tried to close his hand on my finger, or play with his calculator watch, or feed me tic-tacs or Dentene cinnamon gum.

-I remember that he was very respectful of the church and his responsibilities. Every week he would carry with him table cloth and vase with a flower from their garden to set as the centerpiece for the class he was teaching.

-Without being asked, he would also clean up the flower beds and sweep the walkways weekly so so the church would look good for Sunday services.

-Grandpa was so affectionate. He would often give Grandma LONG kisses in front of anyone who happened to be in sight. He wasn't afraid to show his love.

-He loved Lemon Meringue Pie. He would trade my grandma pie for cleaning up the kids' throw-up.

-Some of his "catch-phrases" were, "Hello, Beautiful!" "Hello, George!" while shaking your hand so much you thought your arm was going to come loose from the socket, and when you asked how he was doing, he was always fabulous.

In honor of Grandpa being gone 17 years today, I planted some zinnias, sweet potato vine, basil and a lavender, and swept my walk. He was a good man.

See you at Helltrack

I'm trying to come up with an idea for Oakley for the ward talent show.



I was trying to come up with a simplified version of this we could work on with him but realized, nope, all he's mastered is putting his feet up on the handlebars.

Today

Text to Melissa:

"Nate super glued his lips closed and his hand to his mouth. This was while I was helping Oakley unstick his hand glued in a fist position. CPS would have a decent case against me."

Reply:

"Did that happen while you were getting your Mother of the Year Award out of the mailbox?"

P.S. For future reference, go here.

Sometimes I don't stand a chance.

Best Christmas Present Ever!

This year, Jason worked hard, and gave me (and him) the very best Christmas present ever!!

He GRADUATED!!Eighteen years after he started, Jason graduated from ASU.When he decided to go back, I was uncertain how it would end up. I shouldn't have worried because he hunkered down and plowed right through. He took a heavy load each semester, including each summer session and got done in about 15 months, pulling almost straight A's (statistics his last semester was not his favorite, but he did get a high B in it!)

The ceremony was fantastic, with bagpipes and all.Oakley went along with to see Jason graduate. Now every time we are in the vicinity of ASU, he says, "There's Dad's college." "Remember when we went to Dad's graduration?" "ASU!"
Some of my favorite comments from Oakley that night were:- when we sat in our seats at Wells Fargo Arena, "Mom, go get me some cotton candy."
- while watching the sign interpreter, "Why is she speaking in mute?"
- and apparently when he was having issues, "my private balls are sticking to my legs."

All in all, fantastic gift, fantastic occasion, fantastic opportunities?! Yay for us!!

that time of year

So, we got new family pictures.

My cousin Amanda, from pie in the sky, is amazing.

Jason and I, are not. This is what she had to work with when she asked for a "kissing" one.

And the kids? Hilarious!As Amanda conceded about her own most recent family picture adventures, "Well, it's a family picture, cause we're all in it." I concur.
Unfortunately,
sometimes I get this face and look like Sabrina Teenage Witch, with one glass eye and one lazy eye, and Jason, well, looks a little "grunt like you're birthing a baby"-ish.

Yes, we are all in it.

There are a thousand adorable pictures of the kids, so I might go ahead and do a Christmas card, there's a first for everything, right? If not, I'll just post more later.